Icon of St. Thomas the Apostle
The Gospel of John tells us that on the evening of the first Easter, the disciples are gathered together – in hiding. For some undisclosed reason, Thomas was not among them (I like to think Thomas was out doing something practical like grocery shopping) which was highly dangerous considering their political situation. The risen Christ appears to them, giving them his peace and showing them his wounds. By the time Thomas returns, Jesus is gone. When the Disciples tell Thomas what had happened, he challenges them, refusing to believe their story until he touches Christ’s wounds himself.
A week later, when they are all gathered together, Jesus appears again. Instead of berating Thomas, he holds out his wounded hands, shows Thomas the wound in his side, and invites Thomas to touch them if he does not believe. The bewildered Thomas exclaims, “My Lord and my God!”
Poor Thomas often gets a bad rap for not believing his friends’ testimony right away. He’s called “The Doubter” by a church that forgets that the other disciples didn’t believe at first either. We overlook the fact that we are the Thomas’s of today. We who so often ask for definitive proof. We who demand to see all the data neatly in order before we believe. As hard as it must have been for Thomas – who knew Jesus during his earthly ministry – to believe these things, how much harder is it for us living two thousand years later.
I find Thomas the Courageous – something along those lines – more apt. He had the courage to ask the difficult questions. To ask for a personal revelation. To own up to his unbelief in a community of believers. And he reminds us that a faith untested by doubt is a weak faith. If we refuse to ask the difficult questions ourselves, life will force them upon us when we least expect it. Doubt is healthy.
While it is remarkable that Jesus returned to show Thomas his wounds that he might believe, it is equally remarkable that Thomas remained with his friends. That, in spite of his doubts, they didn’t kick him to the curb either. He continued to live in his community, upheld by them, perhaps even encouraged by their testimony. Until finally, a week later, Christ came again into their midst.
And Christ gladly does the same for us now. He is willing to meet us in our deepest doubts, our darkest fears, our utter lack of faith. All we need do is ask. And we will find him patiently waiting with outstretched arms to welcome us home.
And this story reminds us that it is we ourselves – not God – who shun those who don’t believe the same as we do. How do we learn to be more like those disciples who waited with Thomas until, a week later, he was able to exclaim: “My Lord and my God!” ?
My Eyes Have Seen 